we were pretty classy up until the second keg
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
