i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Randomize
