Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
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