How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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