Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
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