After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
