Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Randomize
