he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Randomize
