just so you know, your brother isn't driving home wasted tonight. he is, instead, in my dorm shower screaming about rubbing his butt with my loofah; thought you would be proud
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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