I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
