The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
