i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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