Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
