you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
