I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Randomize
