i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize