He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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