All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
