The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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