what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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