omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
