they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
