you turned your livingroom into a bong?
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Two words: blizzard sex
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
Randomize
