So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
