Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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