Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
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Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
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You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
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