We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
This couple is walking their pig around campus
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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