Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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