Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
