My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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