So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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