He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
