Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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