how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
