I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Terrible idea I love it
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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