i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Randomize
