Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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