i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
