a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
