he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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