GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
