Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
