turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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