What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
You took a bar mat shot.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
