This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
