I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
