I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
