So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
My bed smells like the plague
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