i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize
