No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
