speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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