i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i want to swaddle you in tequila
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
