You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Randomize
