Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
