Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Randomize
