my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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