i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
