it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize