What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
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