Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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