What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
