You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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