He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
