You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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