Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
