There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
