carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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