You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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