Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
