I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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